Habits

I've installed an app for habits on the phone. HabitKit if you are curious which one.
I can't recommend it or say it is bad. Why?
 
I've never used it.
 
It sits on my screen and yesterday I opened it and tapped "+" to add something. Then hesitated and canceled. And then removed the app from the phone.
 
It made me think about my attempts to form or remove habits.
 
You've probably read book(s) on habits forming and keeping. One notable and well known is "Atomic habits". I've read it to (it is good one BTW)
 
All those books focus on some routines and approaches that can be summarized:

• Start small and make it easy for you to follow the habit
• Keep track of it in some way, best in the way that boost this habit
• Keep it going for long enough for it to become a habit.

And you know what? I've realized it didn't work for me. Every single time I've tried to use this technique to form some habit or encourage some behavior, I've failed.
 
I've tried all of it (I think): paper notes, using to-do tasks to remind me about it (I use Todoist and they have this functionality), reminders.
 
It always kept going for some time and then I dropped it anyway. It might be my lack of strong will and commitment, or something else. If something else, then "what?"
 
So, then I did a different exercise - what caused the habits to stay? I have some, I do them, I don't need a tracking to do it.
 
So what was it?
 
It come down to this list:

• Things I simply enjoy doing, or I feel better after doing it.
• Things that doesn't require additional, special equipment.
• Things I can do on my own and I don't need anyone for it
• Things that are good for me in a long run.

And to be perfectly honest - I haven't thought about those things upfront. It is a bit of retrospective.
 
Same with removing bad habits but in opposite:

• Things that are not good form me in a long run
• Things, that I don't enjoy (mostly after)

What also helped in forming and keeping some habits:

• Guilt free, I don't fuse around skipped day or even longer period. I pick it up and do it again.
• Not looking what others are doing and do not comparing myself with others.

The last one is interesting, as it applies to those things, that might be competitive, like running, sports of simply doing a number of steps.
 
(Note, I'm not the most competitive person around)
 
In those areas, it is easy to fall into a trap of comparing ourselves to others, and then to the conclusion "I suck on it so why bother" and dropping out.
 
Another thing is "plateau" trap. Whatever is your goal that you want to drive with given habit, it will reach plateau at some point.
 
You lose weight and it stops. Or you run and you run faster and faster, and then you are stuck at some point. Go figure what it might be in this case.
 
It is easy to get discouraged at this point and drop whatever you are doing, because it isn't working.
 
My strategy - just keep doing it, maybe try different pattern or approach, but keep doing it. Ask friend, coach or LLM what you can change about it.
 
"Plateau" trap mostly is perceived by negative by you (if) because you compare it to something. Your previous result, your top results, other people result.
 
Don't. The goal is the effort not being on the top in it or winning some prize.
 
 
What are my habits? Simpler than you might think:

• Drinking coffee in the morning, after I'm done with family routine
• Stepping on the scale when I wake-up
• Running, keeping the schedule of it, even if I don't have a specific goal for it.
• Some measurements around health, like checking my blood pressure, even if I don't have immediate problem with it.
• Reading every evening (and during the day)
• Taking walk instead of driving for short distances around (short - everything that is 30min walk if I'm not in the hurry)
• Short exercise routine every morning

(and a bit more :) )

There are some habits that are not that positive, but as I don't see them hurting me in long term, I've decided not to fight it.

• Checking some social media on the phone
• Drinking too much coffee :)

So, when I thought about it, my habits forming failed, when it was something I haven't perceived as beneficial on my own or I've tried to copy something from others. Artificial boosts or tools wasn't much help.
 
Habits stick when it was something I was internally convinced is worth doing and I enjoyed it (during or after doing it).
 
As usual, intrinsic motivation is the only one that lasts. And not beating yourself about keeping it or dropping it.  Not everything has to be a win or failure, sometimes just doing stuff and picking it up when it will fail, is enough.

🖖